Suze Cumming, founder of The Nature of Real Estate and Canada’s Real Estate Negotiation guru, answers Realtors’ questions on the first Friday of the month about negotiation tactics and working through tricky situations. Have a question for Suze? Send her an email.
An offer arrives significantly below asking. The buyer’s agent is reluctant to cooperate, and your seller client, frustrated and defensive, flatly refuses to consider it. The home has sat on the market for over two months, your sellers urgently need to close on their new property within six weeks, and there are no other interested buyers in sight.
What’s your next move?
Welcome back to Negotiation Intelligence, your monthly resource dedicated to elevating your negotiation expertise and professional impact in real estate.
One of the greatest frustrations I consistently hear from agents is managing unrealistic price expectations—sellers often want too much; buyers offer too little.
But isn’t that precisely why negotiations—and why skilled, professional real estate agents—exist? Our value lies precisely in navigating these complex emotional landscapes to achieve outcomes clients can’t reach on their own.
Negotiations are challenging because most clients, and, frankly, many agents, haven’t had specialized training in these critical skills. As a result, they often default to rigid tactics, silence, or ineffective standoffs that rarely yield desired outcomes.
If pricing discussions were purely logical, sophisticated AI systems could easily handle them. But here’s the crucial truth: studies show roughly 80-90 per cent of real estate and financial decisions are emotionally driven, with logic serving primarily as justification afterward.
Research by Nobel Prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman supports this, revealing that about 90 per cent of financial decisions are emotion-based. Our role as Realtors extends far beyond delivering market data; it’s about guiding our clients toward clear, confident decisions that genuinely align with their best interests by understanding their emotions and motivations.
Mastering this skill set requires emotional intelligence, refined communication, and expert self-awareness. The good news? These are learnable skills, and the payoff in terms of trust, reputation, and personal fulfillment is tremendous.
Today, let’s tackle the scenario above, giving you tools you can use immediately and insights to start expanding your negotiation toolkit.
A playbook for managing untenable seller expectations
In this challenging situation, you face two distinct hurdles: a seller whose stance risks significant financial consequences, and a buyer’s agent who is disengaged. Both are familiar struggles, but let’s discuss the seller situation today.
First, understand that your seller’s frustration and defensiveness come from a genuine place of fear and uncertainty. Adding pressure or urgency typically exacerbates their resistance. Instead, your initial goal is to build trust, lower stress levels, and create a safe environment where authentic dialogue can take place.
Here’s a practical framework you can implement immediately:
- Acknowledge their reality: “I completely understand why this offer is disappointing. It’s not what you were hoping for, and I get that.” Remember, you are not necessarily agreeing with them—you’re simply letting them know that you understand and empathize with their situation. This will give them the space to stop defending their position.
- Support their autonomy: “My goal isn’t to push you into accepting an offer you’re uncomfortable with. My role is to support you, no matter what decision you make. It’s important to me that you have all of the essential and accurate information required for this critical decision.”
- Shift to solution-based questions: “Given our tight timeline, if you decide this offer isn’t acceptable, what’s your best alternative? What other options do we have to protect you financially?”
This approach immediately signals empathy, builds trust, and gently guides your client toward seeing the bigger picture without sacrificing their autonomy. It demonstrates professional competence and emotional understanding, positioning you as a trusted advisor rather than an adversary.
I recently worked with an agent who used this exact approach. Her sellers initially rejected an offer $50,000 below asking. After a 20-minute conversation using these techniques, they not only engaged with the offer but also discovered the buyers had flexibility on closing dates, ultimately saving the sellers $15,000 in bridge financing costs.
Negotiations are opportunities—opportunities to show clients that you’re not only professionally capable but deeply human. Your ability to navigate challenging emotions and complex conversations will set you apart in this evolving market. Agents who master these skills earn 40 per cent more in commission because they close deals that others can’t.
Coming next
Each month in this column, we’ll delve deeper into real-world scenarios, offering tangible strategies you can adopt right away. You absolutely can master these nuanced skills, and when you do, you’ll find negotiation not only more successful but also more satisfying and rewarding.
Next month, we’ll cover how to handle the buyer’s agent’s avoidance in this negotiation, along with other challenging cooperative-agent situations. Have you noticed how often the other agent can be our greatest impediment to a successful transaction? We’ll go deep on the psychological triggers and negotiation strategies that turn reluctant buyer agents into collaborative partners.
I’m genuinely excited to join you on this journey. If you have challenging negotiation scenarios you would like me to address (anything except lead generation—seriously!), please reach out. Together, we’ll elevate your negotiation intelligence and empower you to thrive, one meaningful conversation at a time.
Suze Cumming is the founder of The Nature of Real Estate and Canada’s Real Estate Negotiation guru. Suze and her team have run over 5000 real estate professionals through negotiation designation courses since 2013 and have guided many top agents and teams to their success.
Her courses, the Accredited Real Estate Negotiator (AREN) and the Professional Real Estate Negotiator (PREN), are Canada’s newest and fastest-growing designation. These courses are offered live online in small interactive groups or in person for brokerages and boards.
Suze is passionate about two things. Helping REALTORS get massively successful results for their clients and for themselves. And Sailboat racing. When Suze isn’t on a stage or in a zoom room, you’ll find her racing her sailing yachts in various locations around the world.
For 40 years, Suze has been passionate about real estate and the lifestyle that it makes possible for each of us. She knows for sure that the only way to the top is to be remarkably good at what you do.
This scenario depends on earlier conversations prior to even listing the property. Setting expectations from the beginning. Agents that take over priced listings just to get the listing usually end up with these problems. One solution I feel that is effective , is for sales reps not to even take Over Priced Listings. If sales reps were truly professional that is what they would do. Instead of taking a listing trying to reduce the price, finally receive a low offer. Then negotiate a sale price that would most likely be market value had the property been listed accurately in the first place.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment, D.O. You’re absolutely right—setting clear, realistic expectations early on is crucial. While ideally, we wouldn’t take overpriced listings, the reality is that market perceptions are nuanced and emotional for many sellers. That’s where strong negotiation and communication skills truly matter: helping sellers understand market realities, building trust, and guiding them toward decisions in their own best interests. Great agents can turn these challenging situations into opportunities to add real professional value.
Thank you D.O. Another perception – At the outset if seller is “fishing” for “one shot” high paying buyer, the pros and cons should be worked through. Sadly some sellers might be using the agent as a guinea pig. It’s not costing them. Unfortunately often enough one sees such listings expire after the first agent did all the marketing & ground work, Then its relisted with a new agent at a reduced price. who then collects all the marbles – Sometimes almost seems as a punishment.
Thanks Jeff—great insight. It’s indeed frustrating when sellers ‘test the waters’ with pricing, only to reduce after a listing expires. Sometimes, the second agent benefits from timing, but often they also succeed because they approach the conversation differently—perhaps using stronger relationship-building, clearer communication, or more nuanced negotiation skills. Rather than feeling punished, it can be helpful to reflect on these moments as opportunities to enhance our own approach. Mastering these crucial conversations positions us as trusted advisors rather than ‘guinea pigs.
Hey Jeff, there are no guinea pigs in our business. There are pros and then there are individuals who got themselves a license, because they thought real estate was glamorous.
What about the Seller who over prices their property way over market value. So high it doesn’t even get viewings?
Their “not in a hurry”, don’t need to move and it expires over and over no matter how much information and facts you give them….should you let them go?
The scenario you gave above is pretty easy because the Seller bought another home and needed to get their property sold.
It’s not really the reality of what’s happening out there with stubborn sellers that just list to list not list to sell.
You’ve raised an important challenge—thank you. Sellers who repeatedly overprice without motivation can indeed be difficult to manage. While not every seller is ready to act, there’s value in honest conversations about why they’re choosing to list at unrealistic prices. If they’re truly unwilling to engage realistically after receiving clear, empathetic guidance, it may indeed be best to respectfully decline or end the relationship. Strong negotiation isn’t just about closing deals—it’s also about knowing when and how to walk away, preserving your professional integrity and reputation.
Always love your insights, Suze. The professional trust we build with conversations like this is everything…
The list price is a negotiation. The list price will bring the right buyer… or not. And there will always be ‘value’ buyers and sellers who will only sell ‘if the price is right’.
We get to choose who we work with under contract. Choose well.
Explain the likely outcomes when you list high, bang on, or low – buyers have access to more information now than ever before…
Arguing comparables only causes defensiveness.
A skilled realtor will always get a better outcome for their client. Period.
Work with the seller to come up with a price together, have the skill and empathy and guts to tell them what they need to hear, or know – even if it’s hard!
Thanks Erin, you embody what negotiation intelligence looks like in practice. Your clarity, empathy, and courage in guiding clients through difficult truths is exactly what elevates our profession. The best agents don’t just quote comparables—they co-create strategy, manage emotion, and help clients see clearly when the stakes are high. That’s the work. And yes—choosing who we work with, and how, matters.
These are the conversations that keep our industry grounded in trust and care. I’m always grateful to work alongside professionals like you who are committed to doing the work with integrity and intention.