Male orgasm denial is in my experience the most poorly understood, yet without doubt one of the most delightful sexy games you can introduce into your marriage.
Taking the idea at face value, you’d think it was completely bizarre and strange and no man could ever consent to let you stop right at that “vital moment” and keep him waiting – sometimes for days, weeks, and months on end… and with some couples, a good deal longer than that.
But there’s no secret about how much men like their orgasms, is there? Fact is… for most men, sex is equated to their orgasm, and according to some anthropologists, the male orgasm has been the ultimate driving force behind a lot of our development (in human society, men with the highest “status” get the “best” mates… and “status” is often as having a bigger stock of scarce resources, like land, property and money).
So, what is male orgasm denial, what would make your husband consent to it, and why would any woman want to “inflict” it on her man?
As the name implies, it merely means the man freely hands over control of his orgasm to another – usually his wife or girlfriend – and doesn’t get to have one unless she says so.
Exactly how it’s “inflicted” depends on the dynamics of their marriage and ways of doing it range from simple agreement (where the man is on his “honour” not to orgasm) all the way through 24/7 captivity in a steel chastity belt (which is how I keep my partner, John, entirely by his agreement).
That, in a nutshell (forgive the pun), is it!
What Would Make Men Accept Male Orgasm Denial?
Well, strange as it may seem it actually improves their sex lives. It’s important to note it does NOT mean couples don’t have sex. They often do. In fact, they often have MORE sex than they had before they started the practice, and they have it more often. The difference is the man doesn’t orgasm and so the focus of his attention is now on the woman rather than himself.
Contrary to popular belief, men often actually enjoy this aspect more than any other – because they really do like to please us women (hard to believe at times, I know).
A second reason men will agree to male orgasm denial is it’s the closest thing they’re ever going to get to a woman’s multiple orgasm. They’re not giving up the pleasure of their orgasms… they’re savouring them. And when they eventually do get to have one… my oh my… see the fireworks!
Why Would Wives Desire to “Inflict” It on Their Men?
The answer to this, partly, is identical to the answer to the question above, but from another angle: improved sex, and sex more often. Most women might laugh sadly and groan a little at the idea of having more sex… but only because sex nowadays is nothing to write home about.
Yet I think you’ll be surprised at how strict male orgasm denial has the knock-on effect of quickly increasing your desire for intimacy, as well.
Because he’ll naturally become more loving, attentive, intimate and emotionally connected to you, which are all things the majority of women lament are missing in their husbands.
In short, your relationship is going to grow closer – it’s going to be just like it was in the early-days when you first met, but with the added benefit of your having built that solid emotional bond. You can have your cake and eat it, in other words.
It’s true this lifestyle won’t be for every man and woman and won’t necessarily be the right choice for every marriage, but if your marriage is essentially stable and you are receptive to the notion of having a go at something new to get the flames of passion burning bright once more, then there are worse ideas than giving male orgasm denial a try.
Sarah Jameson, avid devotee of the benefits of ultra-strict and rigid male orgasm denial, and creator of the Male Chastity Blog is a happily married woman and freelance writer. She first was introduced to male orgasm denial almost three years ago, and now writes extensively about it to promote awareness and help educate other couples about this astoundingly satisfying but largely misunderstood lifestyle choice. She keeps her husband, John, by his own consent in long-term male orgasm denial for up to a year at a time.
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